you can pretend like i dont exist but i still made you whimper like a little bitch when you were about to cum
right now I want that cuddling that gets flirty and then turns into really good sex.
what if age of ultron is like introducing wanda and pietro and it’s like
"the maximoff twins are mu[cut to another scene]"
and then later there’s a fighting and someone goes
"oh god she’s a m[LOUD EXPLOSIONS]"
and then in the aftermath someone’s like
"so you guys are [CAR HORN]ts huh?"
and it just keeps going through the whole movie
so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and
i’m fucking crying
it says ‘no.’
it literally says NO.
oh my god
FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK
YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD
MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE
NO GOD PLEASE DONT LET THIS BE THE POST THAT MAKES ME TUMBLR FAMOUS